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Writer's pictureDawn Lim

"if you manage it all, they will be helpless"




I once did a parenting quiz that had a title along the lines of “find out how you’re screwing up your kids!” On the “permissive to controlling parenting style” spectrum, I scored really high on the controlling side. The quiz suggested that my parenting style encouraged learned helplessness—that my kids would wait to be told what to do because I was in the habit of jumping in to manage, fix, and control.


scoff. insert "air-sniff."


What do these parenting experts know, right?


Well, a lot actually.


By being the go-to problem solver, I was teaching my kids that I thought I could do things faster and better than them. I was also teaching them to expect me to intervene.


What about you?


When you spend a lot of effort and energy managing things, what feeling does it give you?


More importantly, what feeling does it soothe?


Anxiety?


Stress?


The need for things to look perfect on the outside?


What would it feel like to delegate the job to someone else?


How would it feel to wait for someone else to step in instead?


What would it mean to your wellbeing to teach someone else to handle a job without involving you?


Think about it.


Choose to make a choice.


Keep your priority goals in mind.


Now view your week through the lens of simplicity.


Because the next habit that helps you get out of burnout and closer to work-life balance is understanding the value of simplicity. Remember spot, stop, swap? This week, can you observe and spot the many ways you intervene and do a task unnecessarily?


Question: If you are a hyper-manager like me, ask yourself why you feel the need to swoop in and get the job done? Share in the comments section below!


 

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