Dear Fellow Mother-Doctors:
Do you feel burnt out trying to juggle your family's needs, patient care, career expectations, and elder care. Do you have time to look after yourself?
Are you tired of feeling like a cog in a system that has relied on your willingness to give up your personal well-being for those of your patients?
Do you crave a healthy way to integrate your life and career that doesn't cause your kids to resent you?
Do you ever dread going to work? Do you wonder if you should quit medicine, but feel you can't leave your patients stranded?
Do you ever feel you have to juggle all of your roles and make it look effortless? But then feel as if you're failing every single day?
Maybe you bring your frustrations home?
What if you could have that ideal work-life integration you crave? I have a transformational process that will guarantee that:
You CAN be less busy.
You CAN have more time for what rejuvenates you.
You CAN enjoy meaningful work.
You CAN enjoy quality time with those you love.
You CAN be a fantastic role model for those who depend on you to be strong.
It is possible. And it's a life changing freedom I want you all to have.
frustrated?
Do you have a constantly growing to-do-list for the kids?
Do you feel that no one sees the invisible work you do to keep all the balls up in the air?
Are you time poor and sleep deprived?
Do you feel you have to bandaid the holes in the healthcare system?
Do vacations no longer feel relaxing because you dread the pile of work on return?
overwhelmed?
Do you feel pulled to be a team player at work, a supportive partner, raise kind children, and care for aging parents?
Do you have trouble saying no, but then get angry at yourself for saying yes?
Do patient complaints and piles of paperwork make you wonder if you will find medicine joyful again?
stuck?
Do you ever wish that everyone would just go away so you could have a piece of the day just for yourself?
Are there things you loved to do before kids and medicine stretched you too thinly that you'd love to bring back into your life?
ready?
Ready to move forward?
Ready to build your powerful dream life?
Ready to change quickly?
Ready to find purpose and meaning in your days again?
I was in the same place as you. I remember the pain of unhappiness and empty days. I dreaded going to work. I was angry and irritable. I felt that my patients were "things to clear off the waiting list" rather than people who deserved my compassion and care.
I lacked self-compassion and I certainly didn't experience joy. I didn't understand that I couldn't give to others since my own bucket was empty. No one talked about physician wellness then.
But I'm no longer in that space.
I hired a coach (two actually!), I read powerful books, I stayed open and curious. I helped myself.
Burnout recovery is possible. It can also be a simpler process than you think. I can help you put yourself first--and learn how to really thrive.
During the Covid-19 pandemic, you suffered moral injury in silence. You saw a chronically underfunded healthcare system crumble. And you were asked to fill the gaps. You were asked to make something out of very little every single day. You shared your anger and pain in stories, op-eds, and protests. But has anything changed?
Will any change come if it doesn't first come from you?
I truly believe the healthcare system will change--slowly. Maybe not within my time and maybe not within yours. But imagine this--if you treat 1000-2000 patients per year, what kind of transformations will you and those around you experience when you take care of yourself first?
You have children. You're responsible for raising them to be healthy, emotionally strong, and confident. They model what you do. They learn from your actions. When you are healthy, emotionally strong and confident, your kids will thrive. What difference will it make for your children to see that you took charge of your own future?
You first.
Everyone else after.
When you "win first" as a mother-doctor, everyone around rises.
Why wait a day longer? Are you ready?
6 Pillars for Authentic Work Life Integration
Mindset
It's painful when your ideas and beliefs clash with your lived experiences. The hard work begins with preparing your mindset for change--and deciding what shifts and what stays.
Mind Trash and Shame
The past shapes you, but sometimes you fail to learn its lessons. Imperfection is normal. You will learn how to accept who you are now and that you are always changing and learning to be better. You will learn how to be shame resilient.
Healthy Boundaries
You will apply a "simplicity filter" to your life. You will learn when and how to say no so you can say a big YES to what fills you with joy. Boundaries keep you safe as you explore new ways to be.
Curiosity and Vulnerability
This is where you will visualize your best future and take the initial steps to get there. You will learn how to strengthen your courage muscles and harness the power of fear to grow into your best self.
Clarify Core Values
Who are you without even trying? You will identify your core values.
You will learn to express these core values at work and with your relationships, This is your lodestar for building amazing habits of change.
Fail, Rise, Learn, Climb, Repeat
When you choose to change, you can't control the outcome. That is scary, but also amazing. You will learn how to accept this fact and get back up. Support combines with accountability for great personal growth.